This blog comes as a culmination of conversations I have had over the last few weeks. Our subject? Big women and the men who love them. I once blogged about all of the myspace messages I get from men who might be referred to as "fatty chasers." I think my blog came across as a little too judgemental. Maybe it's the feminist in me. I grew up feeling that I shouldn't be placed in a special category because I am a woman. I guess some how that translated into not wanting to be in a special category according to my body size. I figured that if someone thought I was hot, it should be because I (as a whole package - brains, wit, attitude, body) am hot and in the same league with skinny chicks. I think I associated "chub lovers" with something pathological. Perhaps it was a confidence or power thing. "I need to feel like the one who holds all the cards ... I'll date a fat chick ... she'll never leave me .... who else will want her?" It's kind of in line with the same irrational thinking in which homophobic men think that all gay men want them. Like gay men, we zaftig ladies have tastes and preferences and are not so limited in our choices that we will scrape the bottom of the barrel for a hook-up. Maybe I viewed these guys as a little insecure, in that if they had confidence issues it would be much easier to approach a fat chick based on the faulty information above. Then there is the third category: the freak. You know the guy that has a bizarre fetish/obsessive personality that is waaaaay into fat chicks but could just have easily ended up waaaaaay into sheep (no offense Monkey).
I had this view questioned by a couple of people (and rightly so). "Can't guys just like big women?" "Personally, I like women with a little 'junk in their trunk.'" "It's not the same," I respond, "There is a big difference between a little junk in the trunk and junk that is also in the cup holders and under the hood and in the back seat, etc etc." I'm talking about big women ... women like me. And BAM - just like that I had placed myself in a category. It was a category I had decided was outside of the norm and therefore teetering on fetish. But the thing is, it's not so out of the norm. There are lots of big gals out there. Chunky chicks with boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses. Now maybe some of these women are like me - they put on their weight after they got with their partner and so in their partner's eyes they aways remain beautiful and sexy. But not all. And there are people that love them and find them sexy for their complete package. Now here comes my assessment and advice ....
Men (and ladies) if you think a big woman is hot ... tell her ... and mean it. If you pass by her in the supermarket or on campus or at the water cooler, smile ... big and obvious. Compliment her on her outfit. If your feeling bold, compliment her on her shape or her sexiness. I know there are lots of you out there but you only seem to make yourselves known in places that take serious search egine skills to find and ... let's face is sometimes they can seem downright seedy or fetish-like (i.e. bbw groups, chatrooms, websites). It's time for those of you who like 'em large and in charge (or just for those of you who don't see it as an inhibiting issue) to make yourself known. And another thing - for you guys that don't think you could ever date a fat chick - be a little more like Outkast and try a "no discrimination here squirrel" policy - you'll be doing yourself a favor. I'm not sure exactly why, but the big women I know tend to be extra creative.
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